Helicopter Parent Syndrome
Helicopter Parents: Avoiding the Syndrome
By Barron Whited MS Ed.
Director of Counseling Services, The Art Institute of Pittsburg
Have you ever witnessed a helicopter stationed in one location; as if its watching your every move? Now, imagine a parent hovering over their child in the same manner. Ongoing nationwide studies are showing college parents struggling with hovering over their children. These "Helicopter parents" are always on the lookout for dilemmas affecting their children's success and happiness. If an issue does occur, these parents are ready to swoop in and save the day. While parents should play an active role in their child's college experience, they need to know when to step back and allow them to grow as adults. Below is a list of tips for parents to help avoid constant intervention, while still providing support for their child:
Tip 1 Establish Boundaries:
Knowing the limits and the rules of the relationship are important for parent as well as student. Instead of micromanaging a child, step back and let them develop into adulthood by letting them make some mistakes on their own.
Tip 2 Encourage Problem Solving
Don't teach your child helplessness by handling their problems. Student's need to make educated decisions by themselves. Encourage your child to listen, think, and communicate as an independent adult.
Tip 3 Guide rather Than Pressure
Make suggestions. See your role as a parent more like a compass and not a GPS system.
Tip 4 Expect Ups and Downs
No one is going to be happy all the time. As much as you hate to see them suffer, its important as parents to realize there will be ups and downs during a student's college career. By reassuring their children that problem's are a normal part of life, parents can help their student learn vital skills such as responsibility, self-identity and freedom by being their own advocate.
Tip 5 Stay Connected:
Make a plan to talk regularly, but respect the fact that your child might want to make that contact less frequent as they adjust to the demands of college.
Parents can avoid the helicopter syndrome if they allow their child to think, make decisions and take responsibility as an adult, instead of hovering over their every move. Parents may encounter difficulty "letting go" as an authority figure, but by encouraging independence while still being supportive they will help their child learn vital skills that they will carry along with them for the rest of their lives.
For more information see Mike Franklin in the Wellness Center or visit