Dan
05-03-2001, 01:53 AM
Driven (PG-13) at the Circus
Stars: 1.5
If "Driven" hadn't cost so much to make, I might have believed
it was a deliberate attempt to write the world's sappiest script.
This race-car movie pulls at the heart strings in all the wrong
ways: a driver crashes into a pond and others dive in the murk to
save him; the rookie driver injures his foot, but hobbles into the
car in his cast; and an injured driver watches the championship
race from his hospital bed, cheering while the IV drips into his
arm.
Sly Stallone wrote the script and he stars in the film. In general,
he acts better than he writes, but it's a close call - he's pretty
awful in all roles.
The story is formula: the international race-car circuit comes
down to a two-driver ending. The perennial champion Beau
Brandenburg (Til Schweiger) against upstart rookie Jimmy Bly
(Kip Pardue). At season's start, it looked like Bly would blow
away the champ. But then nerves set in and Bly begins to make
stupid mistakes and lose races in exciting ways.
Enter Sly Stallone, a "retired" driver who is brought back by the
desperate owner (Burt Reynolds) to try to be a mentor to
Jimmy. The one thing I did like about this movie was seeing
Stallone as a back-up driver. That's sort of like a boxing movie
where Rocky walks around the ring in thongs holding up cards
showing the round number. Gosh, I'd love to see that movie.
Sly drives around the track bothering other drivers and talking to
Jimmy by radio. You'll never guess what happens in the final
race, with Jimmy in his cast and Sly coaching him.
Oh, yes, there are beautiful women everywhere, fleshing out the
subplots, so to speak. One woman likes to sleep with champs,
so she changes cars during slow pitstops. Another woman is still
bitter at being dumped, so she continually badmouths her ex.
Gosh this was an awful movie. I mildly enjoyed the sight of two
racecars going 185 mph through downtown Chicago, but that
was my only smile. Mostly, I groaned.
Sly Stallone is, for me, an American tragedy. He started out with
a real achievement. The first "Rocky" was a fine film, in which
Stallone was likable for his humble, underdog qualities. But after
the Oscars arrived and the sequels began, Sly's ego reached the
size of Jupiter. What's worse, he felt the need to stereotype
himself. So many of his films - whether he's a boxer, a cop or a
soldier - are about overcoming odds and triumphing. There are
exceptions, of course, but for the most part Sly will forever be
defined by the scenes in the fight films where he runs up and
down the steps preparing for his comeback.
Stallone has enough money to make films that matter. He could
branch out and explore his vulnerable side. But, alas, he's gonna
be Rocky Balboa now and forever. What he doesn't seem to
realize is that his career went down for the count long, long ago.
Stars: 1.5
If "Driven" hadn't cost so much to make, I might have believed
it was a deliberate attempt to write the world's sappiest script.
This race-car movie pulls at the heart strings in all the wrong
ways: a driver crashes into a pond and others dive in the murk to
save him; the rookie driver injures his foot, but hobbles into the
car in his cast; and an injured driver watches the championship
race from his hospital bed, cheering while the IV drips into his
arm.
Sly Stallone wrote the script and he stars in the film. In general,
he acts better than he writes, but it's a close call - he's pretty
awful in all roles.
The story is formula: the international race-car circuit comes
down to a two-driver ending. The perennial champion Beau
Brandenburg (Til Schweiger) against upstart rookie Jimmy Bly
(Kip Pardue). At season's start, it looked like Bly would blow
away the champ. But then nerves set in and Bly begins to make
stupid mistakes and lose races in exciting ways.
Enter Sly Stallone, a "retired" driver who is brought back by the
desperate owner (Burt Reynolds) to try to be a mentor to
Jimmy. The one thing I did like about this movie was seeing
Stallone as a back-up driver. That's sort of like a boxing movie
where Rocky walks around the ring in thongs holding up cards
showing the round number. Gosh, I'd love to see that movie.
Sly drives around the track bothering other drivers and talking to
Jimmy by radio. You'll never guess what happens in the final
race, with Jimmy in his cast and Sly coaching him.
Oh, yes, there are beautiful women everywhere, fleshing out the
subplots, so to speak. One woman likes to sleep with champs,
so she changes cars during slow pitstops. Another woman is still
bitter at being dumped, so she continually badmouths her ex.
Gosh this was an awful movie. I mildly enjoyed the sight of two
racecars going 185 mph through downtown Chicago, but that
was my only smile. Mostly, I groaned.
Sly Stallone is, for me, an American tragedy. He started out with
a real achievement. The first "Rocky" was a fine film, in which
Stallone was likable for his humble, underdog qualities. But after
the Oscars arrived and the sequels began, Sly's ego reached the
size of Jupiter. What's worse, he felt the need to stereotype
himself. So many of his films - whether he's a boxer, a cop or a
soldier - are about overcoming odds and triumphing. There are
exceptions, of course, but for the most part Sly will forever be
defined by the scenes in the fight films where he runs up and
down the steps preparing for his comeback.
Stallone has enough money to make films that matter. He could
branch out and explore his vulnerable side. But, alas, he's gonna
be Rocky Balboa now and forever. What he doesn't seem to
realize is that his career went down for the count long, long ago.